Sex, Sexuality, and Intimacy
Providing a Sex-Positive, Desire-Focused, Trauma-Informed Space for You to Learn, Heal, and Grow.
Serving Clients in Burlington, Vermont
"Sexuality is an inherent, essential, & beneficial dimension of being human."
-The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists
It is easy to feel alone in having concerns or difficulties when it comes to sex, sexuality, and intimacy. This is because we have grown up in a society where we are rarely told how and when to talk about sex! Having a sex therapist to work with allows you to have a safe, confidential space to have those conversations. By speaking with a person trained in sex, sexuality, and intimacy, you can grow and learn in sex-positive, desire-focused ways.
“Sex positivity is a mindset of respect. Sex positivity works to value and respect other people, regardless of whether their sexual choices, desires, practices, or histories are the same as yours. The only valid judgments of a sexual act involve the consent, pleasure, and well-being of the people who do it or are affected by it. Sex positivity is an act of liberation. By celebrating people’s courage in creating sex lives that work for them, we can disrupt cultural myths, shame, misinformation, and trauma that are used to subjugate and control us."
Adapted from Charlie Glickman, Ph.D
For individuals, couples, or throuples, the idea of considering or attending sex therapy might bring up its own set of concerns. Attending sex therapy does not mean that your relationship is in trouble— in fact, going to sex therapy can mean the exact opposite! Working with a sex therapist can help you strengthen your relationship as you learn each other’s patterns, communication styles, and desires. As we work together, we can discuss how to communicate with each other, how to deal with personal trauma and limitations that are creating anxieties and challenges between you and your partner, and how to determine what your deepest desires are. By working together, you can have the intimacy you crave and the sexual health and freedom you dream of!
“As defined by The World Health Organization: Sexual health is a state of physical, mental, and social well-being in relation to sexuality. It requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination, and violence.”
Some Statistics:
40%+ women experience sexual challenges, with a low sex drive being the most common concern.
31% of men experience sexual challenges, with erectile dysfunction and eager ejaculation being the most common concern.
The average length until orgasm for men is 4-6 minutes, and 20 minutes for women
Your environment is the biggest factor in how you perceive yourself. You weren’t born hating your body or feeling uncomfortable with your sexuality
Your brain is your biggest sex organ— turn-on happens in the mind and the skin!
The most common cause of pain during sex is missing lubrication
70% of women rarely or never orgasm with intercourse. Knowing your clit = power!
Why is Sex and Relationship Therapy So Important?
Human beings are social creatures! The feeling of loneliness is hard wired so we know to reach out to others for connection. We are also hard-wired to survive. Survival techniques, which may have served us as children, can often inhibit us as adults. When we work together, we can help you understand and accept the roots of your patterns, decide what protective mechanisms are helping us, and free ourselves from leftover protective mechanisms that are harming our current relationships.
We live in a culture where people won’t let themselves eat a cookie because it feels like a loss of control. Our culture says that it is shameful to want certain things or to not want others. I want to work with clients that would like to understand the life force that guides us all. We have shamed ourselves into shadow for too long, and it manifests in so many different ways.
Whether you are here to seek help with anxiety, a relationship, address sexual concerns, understand aspects of your sexuality, or process a traumatic sexual experience or assault: you are in the right place. Regardless of your goal, I am here to help equip you with the tools and information that you need to feel safe, confident, and fulfilled in your relationships.
I use the foundational tenets of body positivity, sex-positivity, and desire-based living to help you find empowerment when it comes to your body and your sexual practices. This can mean advocating for your needs in current and future relationships, understanding your own turn-on and desires, or processing sexual experiences that felt confusing or traumatic. I want to help you find sexual health, happiness, and confidence!
Our Work Together
I work with individuals who are looking to work through concerns including things like pain, shame, suppression, and control that they feel are no longer serving them when it comes to areas of intimacy. Working with a trained professional is the best way to navigate this type of inner-work.
My clients want to express themselves more, overcome body image issues and increase sensuality, understand their desires and limitations when it comes to pleasure, help feel more connection between body and mind, and create healthy boundaries and desires around sex, sensuality, and intimacy.
My Core Values
Desire-Based Living
I help you understand what patterns in your life have been formed from autopilot and survival and help you create new patterns to help you operate from a place of desire.
Inclusivity
I work with individuals and people in relationships from all walks of life, gender identities, and sexual identities. I work with ages ranging from young adulthood to late seventies.
Professionalism
I have extensive training and experience in psychotherapy, EMDR, relational therapy, family systems therapy, sex therapy, dialectal behavioral therapy, and other cognitive-based therapies and incorporate practices and homework assignments for you from other modalities to heal the body.
Commitment to Social Justice
My practice is a safe, space that aims to lift up subjugated voices, affirm the experiences of LGBTQIA individuals, and unpack the violence and bigotry that harms the body and mind through systematic and overt oppression.
Areas of Expertise
I have education and experiential training in providing counsel for sexual concerns that clients might have for a variety of reasons.
Sexual orientation and sexuality
Gender identity
Intimacy skills -socially, emotionally, and sexually- that impact intimate relationships, interpersonal relationships, and family dynamics.
Understanding the way that ethnicity, culture, religion, spirituality, socioeconomic status, and family values impact our sexual values and behaviors
Diversity in sexual expression and lifestyles
Health and medical factors that may influence sexuality including illness, disability, drugs, and mental health.
Common issues such as lack of desire, difficulty achieving or maintaining arousal, sexual pain, penetration problems, and difficulty with orgasm.
Sexual exploitation, including sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and sexual assault.
Cyber sexuality and social media.
What is Sex Therapy Like?
I understand that the idea of “sex therapy” or a “sex therapist” might seem like an uncomfortable or overly vulnerable experience. I provide a safe space where we can explore the psychology behind intimacy and sex and how it connects to your own experiences, without putting you in a strange or unsafe space. People always ask if what they are experiencing is “normal” - the answer is probably yes!
I will do an assessment and get a thorough history to help you explore and figure out what’s going on and provide tools and homework to practice. I will help you explore and expand your capacity for pleasure.
We will debunk myths like:
“If I explore X, maybe I won’t enjoy regular sex anymore...”
“People who like BDSM have been abused or have trauma in their past.”
“If I keep masturbating to my fantasies, I’ll never enjoy sex with my partner that much.”
“If I use porn then I’m a sex addict.”